Let’s say something happened to a person that is very close to you; or to your relationship. A person who is not only dear to you, but critical to your existence. One of the few people in your life you had trusted and who believed in you just vanished. We can imagine death first, of course. And this would be terrible. It’s as easy to believe that a separation or a divorce can be just as hard, even when love is not present anymore. When you have been a quite a while with the same person, you have devoted part of your life to them. It’s almost as if you take for granted the devotion this person gives in return. What if suddenly, it was gone? Not because you wanted it to, it’s just that we have no control over other people’s thoughts and feelings. We have no control over the fact that someone CAN not love us anymore, meaningless whether we do or not.
This is the part where most folks get discouraged and think that they are the worst person in the universe. A loss similar to this can dive some people into depression, even worse; sometimes reach the level of suicidal thoughts. This is where your self-confidence is supposed to save you, make you feel better about yourself. No negative thoughts = better fresh start after a critical breakup. It’s important to cry, sob, scream your heart out if you feel like it; you’re heartbroken, of course it’s normal to be sad. There are certain ways to overcome and beat that sadness.
What’s not normal is to go on underestimating your capacities. We have all been through this phase of ‘I’m nothing without you’ and we were all wrong. We are always something; with or without someone in our life. Love is supposed to be complementary. You have to be grateful for love, not everyone is entitled to it. Some people will spend their whole lives alone and still be as -if not more- happy as the fairytale couple next door. You have to learn to make yourself happy, to fulfill your life with confidence, which will lead you to success and undeniable happiness. Love brings happiness, you’re right; but it’s not essential to it.
Try to visualize love in your life like the cherry on a sundae. That extra topping on a pizza that just makes it better than it already is. You were great before that relationship, you can only be better when it’s over. You have to learn and grow stronger; whether it’s from that person’s mistakes or your own. Losing someone can be a very hard episode to come across, let it be in any kind of way. You have to remember that you are still you. Take what ever is positive and reject as much negative as you can. Keep your head high, and start gaining back trust in yourself.